Matt Heason

Your youngest son finishes his GCSE’s so there’s a window of time where he’s not at school and the rest of the world hasn’t broken up for the summer holidays yet. Where to go and what to do? It’s an opportunity to go a bit further afield and make the most of prices not inflated for the holiday season. Somewhere beyond Europe. Somewhere culturally more exciting. Somewhere with wildlife, amazing food and super friendly people. Thailand it is then.

The only downside? It’s monsoon season. All my research suggests that it’s still perfectly possible and reasonable to travel to Thailand during the rainy season, that the rain storms largely happen for an hour or two in the afternoon, and that the ambient temperature is still plenty warm.

A month before going and I have a fairly full itinerary based on recommendations from friends, a newly purchased copy of Lonely Planet to replace the one I used in 2003, and the one my parents still have from our formative trip in 1988, and a ton of internet research. I’m about to start booking transport links and accommodation, but I begin looking at the weather forecasts. I have half a dozen weather apps installed on my phone and they are all showing the same thing. Thailand is under a constant 24 hour deluge from Chiang Mai to Surat Thani and Krabi! A friend who is out there diving on Ko Tao messages to say he is heading to Vietnam as it’s too wet in Chiang Mai.

I hold back on booking anything, afraid of locking us into a miserable itinerary in the wet. Instead I silently stress for the rest of the month, willing the forecasts to change and brighten up. They don’t. A week out and I sit down with the boys and we have a conversation about setting expectations, pack waterproofs and decide that it will be warm rain so we will make the most of it whatever the weather. I am proud of their response.

I pick Dylan up from his school prom, red-eyed and tired and we drive south to Heathrow. With the prom bookending the start of the trip we are heading back the day before my brother’s 50th, so we’ve opted for more expensive direct flights with Thai Air (£650 each). These are a shade under 12 hours each way rather than 24 hours via India and China. We take off at 21.30 and have at least some sleep between watching movies and untangling airline meals.

I’ve warned the boys about the humidity shock of disembarking in Bangkok, but it’s still amazing, the difference between the damp heat of Asia and dry heat of the Med. Ironically it’s actually hotter back at home, but importantly, we look at each other and smile in quiet acknowledgement that it’s not raining!

Thailand doesn’t use Uber but we’ve been recommended an App called Grab. Once I’ve realised that there’s a second step to associate it with my bank card it’s plain sailing to hail a taxi and wait the three or four minutes for it to arrive. Sadly most of the taxi drivers don’t speak any English and our Thai is limited to basic hello’s and thank you’s, so there isn’t much conversation. Later when we are settled in and we begin using the Tuk Tuks these drivers are a different breed.

A 45 min drive to our hotel costs 400baht. There are 45b to the pound so just under a tenner feels very reasonable. Driving through Bangkok feels so very un-European with its heady mixture of crazy-shaped skyscrapers, giant billboards, rats-nests of electricity and communication cabling draped literally everywhere, and rag tag assortment of road traffic. In amongst the yellow and green taxis and roaring tuk tuks are mopeds and motorbikes, high topped pick ups, air conditioned minivans, and characterful public buses. The noise is immense and disaster feels inevitable at all times, but somehow the collective psyche means that there’s enough road sense to avoid one another and progress is remarkably quick.

I’d decided to book a nice place for the first couple of nights. One with air con and a pool. We’d be tired after the journey (and prom) and would need a bolt hole. Rose Residence (https://maps.app.goo.gl/W45mVqxKw7MFxLxcA) perfectly fits the bill. The room was good enough, but nothing to write home about, but the pool was utterly amazing. Arriving at around 5pm local time we headed straight for the cool water. Literally an oasis amidst the chaos. Shaded by lush tropical trees dropping huge white flowers into the gorgeously warm water. Cocktails in hand we sat and chilled for a good hour before hitting the hotel restaurant for our first flavours of Thailand (cocktails were 300b, main dishes were 150-250b). Awesome crispy pork, papaya salad, green curry and plenty more besides. Before bed we briefly step outside straight onto the infamous Phat Pong Road and have our first taste of Thai night life. It’s heady. Heavy air-con induces sleep.

Traveling as a 3 we shared a twin room with an extra bed put in. This was to be the standard for the whole trip. Most places made no extra charge, but some did. We carried an inflatable mattress, sheet sleeping bags and our own mosquito nets with us in case we needed to make do, but didn’t need them once.

I’d chosen the hotel partly for the pool and partly for its proximity to Lumphini Park which had been recommended by my aunty who’s been coming to Thailand since the 80s. We grabbed some breakfast from a swanky coffee bar on the edge of the park and jumped right in. It didn’t disappoint. 5 foot monitor lizards, turtles, birds, giant millipedes and frogs, all mooching about their home. We lingered for a couple of hours before checking out the adjacent Benjakitti Park. The two parks are linked by a raised walkway which was undergoing restoration whist we visited, but the kilometre long route beneath proved to be fascinating enough – a glimpse into life off the beaten track in a bustling capital city. Benjakitti was amazing. A maze of well preserved board walks and raised walk ways and viewing platforms amidst a man-made jungle / swamp brimming with wild flowers, butterflies and birds.

A tuk tuk ride through the city centre to the river was every bit as exhilarating as I remembered from my childhood. Our driver clearly decided that his payload of three guys needed entertaining. He hiked up the volume of the mass of on-board speakers and blasted his way through the traffic overtaking all and sundry, tilting the thing precariously on the turns, all the while grinning in the mirror and reaching back to proffer laminated sheets advertising train markets, canal tours and golden temples. We finally relented and allowed him to take us to his chosen river tour operator knowing full well what was to come. Sure enough we had to turn down the over inflated tour offered to us by his pal, and instead opted to jump on the standard river taxi (a fraction of the cost of one of the tours touted to us) after lunching on roasted cat fish and battered squid.

Back to the pool for a re-set before another death-ride to the China Town night market. Even out of the main season the hustle and bustle of the markets are like nowhere in Europe. Fake Nikes, Rolex’s and JBL speakers sit amongst waving cats, rack upon rack of patterned trousers and sarongs, and virtually every other conceivable thing you quite fancy, but know you don’t actually need or have space for. Sadly urt time in the capital doesn’t coincide with the amazing sounding Chatuchat night market with its 15,000 stalls!! We eat more scrumptious food and find a roof terrace to enjoy a few beers on.

Another day in Bangkok means we feel the need to visit a temple. None of us are hugely excited by the idea, but it also feels wrong not to. We opt for Wat Pho, to see the sleeping Buddha. It’s an amazing place, and an impressive Buddha, but an hour feels plenty and the 300b per person entry fee like daylight robbery. We amble around, but not inside, the Royal Palace (every temple and palace has its own entry fee), surprised at the cheap prices of the food stalls in such an upmarket part of the city. Back to our awesome oasis of a hotel who allowed us to use the pool and showers despite the fact we’d checked out that morning and left our bags with them. Then to the train station. It hadn’t rained on us yet.

I’d gone on and on to the boys about how amazing the sleeper trains are in Thailand. Comfortable, reliable and cheap. We arrived at the station in plenty of time. Ate like kings at the food court and stocked up on biscuits, sugared peanuts and tamarind and settled down to wait. Anticipation was high. At least mine was. The disappointment and embarrassment that hit when we boarded the train to realise that I’d somehow bought standard seats in third class was crushing. The boys took it in their stride and we settled in for a thoroughly unpleasant night – 11 hours with no hope of any sleep thanks to the sadistic combination of oppressive heat, open windows and fans going full bore with mosquitoes still somehow savaging our ankles, bright overhead lights, and food vendors jumping on board at every stop to shout their offerings as they walk down the carriages. I guess it’s a journey we will remember. The tickets cost £19.18 for the three of us – I should have known they weren’t sleeper tickets at that price!!

Surat Thani. Early morning. It’s quiet and we are dog-tired. Breakfast at a roadside café before jumping on a mini van to Khao Sok.

A word on booking transport. The App 12Go is almost fool proof. Obviously it’s not entirely without its dangers as proved by me booking seats and not beds on the train, but that was genuine human error. The app is outstanding. Type in your departure and arrival point, date and number of passengers and it will present you with options to fly, train, bus or taxi. Sometimes it can be hard to establish exactly where a place is, but perseverance and cross referencing with Google Maps usually paints the full picture. Settle on your journey and you can book there and then through your phone. You’re sent a PDF with a QR code which you present to your driver or conductor and hey presto. We used it for trains, mini van taxis (remarkably cheap) and boats.

Khao Sok is a national park in the jungle some 2.5 hour drive from Surat Thani (£17.94 for the three of us). I’ve been there before and had also had it recommended from a bunch of friends who had also been. We’d booked a fairly luxurious treehouse in a resort on the river called Arts Riverview Lodge (https://maps.app.goo.gl/PRshXpA9wBfMoo3v9). Can’t recommend it enough. There were cheaper alternatives – it cost us 2,500b per night for a triple room with fans. The room was big, the bathroom spacious with a waterfall shower. We watched monkeys from our window and sat on the veranda watching and listening to the monsoon rain lash the jungle vegetation all around us. Sitting in the stunning restaurant we watched a 5 foot water monitor float down the river we’d swum in just half an hour previously. That afternoon we paid 400b each for a couple of hours tubing down the fast flowing river with some of the guests. That included tubes, a guide who pointed out wildlife (tree snake, monkeys and bees nests HIGH on the cliffs above bamboo scaffolding used by the locals to harvest the honey) and a pick up and transfer back.

We spent a few days there relaxing, swimming, eating, exploring waterfalls and lapping up the hot, humid jungleness of the place. A ten minute walk from Arts is the main drag of Khao Sok village, replete with backpackers hostels, bars, restaurants and ATMs. We sat above the river sipping cocktails (significantly cheaper than in Bangkok (100b each) watching big bats skim the surface drinking or picking flies. We ate at the outstanding Thanyawana (https://maps.app.goo.gl/XF1RRsCg7VBFi5qh8). With 5 stars on Google it piqued my interest. I called the number as we couldn’t actually find the place. We were told they were full but should have room in 45 minutes. A good sign. We got directions and went for a drink in one of the bars.  An hour later we were sat in one of the most amazing restaurants I’ve ever been in. Newly built in a wetland paradise for a million frogs we ate the best food of the entire trip amidst a frog chorus like nothing we’d ever heard before. Frogs occasionally jumped onto the table! Our waitress explained that the previous week an elephant had come through the gardens! The entire meal cost us 1,500b. Read my Google review (https://maps.app.goo.gl/hpqggWv1ARjVPMe78) for a full description of the evening.

The following day we booked on an overnight lake tour organised by Art’s. Or at least affiliated with Art’s. An hour’s drive in a plush mini van with a dozen others from nearby resorts and hostels took us to the Cheow Lan Lake, which was created in 1987 by the building of the Rajjaprabha Dam. The vast reservoir is now home to a number of floating ‘villages’ set up for tourism. Tightly controlled with our own guides (Sammy and Pinocchio) we were taken to our bungalow by long tail boat – sleek wooded craft with giant petrol engines mounted high on the stern powering propellors at the end of highly manoeuvrable 12 foot shafts. The hour long ride was spectacular, weaving a course through dramatic karst towers, towering cliffs and impenetrable jungle.

Our destination? A couple of dozen micro bungalows floating on pontoons tethered to the shore near known game hotspots. With time to snorkel, swim, and kayak in the bath-temperature water we kicked back and enjoyed ourselves immensely. Our driver (Mr Kebab!) doubled as a very capable wildlife spotter on excursions during the afternoon and evening (safari). We saw bats, leeches (!), wild boar, gibbons, elephant, eagles and hawks. The whole excursion, which lasted around 30 hours by the time we were delivered back to Art’s cost 2,500b for the three of us including 4 meals.

Having decided not to travel with a set itinerary meant we had the privilege of being able to make plans on the fly. Google Maps proved a truly amazing tool to use in conjunction with the Lonely Plant. Whilst at Art’s we’d deliberated over whether to head West to Krabi and the Andaman Islands, or East to the Gulf of Thailand and the likes of Ko Tao. A look at the map showed another island, closer, which looked interesting. With a single page in the guidebook there wasn’t a whole lot to go on, but talk of Savannah, mangroves and the best bird life in Thailand was enough to make a phone call to a resort we’d spied on Google Maps with some decent reviews – one very recent one said that Ko Phra Thong had the sort of vibe that the reviewer remembered from travel to Thailand as a teenager during the 80s. A call to Horizon Eco Resort (chosen for its proximity to the beach) immediately connected to Lory, a super friendly Thai woman who informed us Horizon was closed for the Monsoon season, but Rakkan Resort (https://maps.app.goo.gl/VVzyvk8Y7kEUJUtm6), just behind Horizon, might be able to give us a room. She arranged a taxi – a 2 hour drive from Khao Sok for 1,500b and mysteriously asked how much our bags weighed…

Standing on a rickety jetty at low tide in the middle of a maze of mangroves wondering how the hell a boat was going to be able to navigate the 2 foot wide trickle of water that lazily flowed towards the sea the concept of heavy bags felt very much a real concern. Fifteen worrying minutes later (had we been abandoned to the mosquitoes and fiddler crabs), a grinning Thai boatman appeared walking through the mud with a jerry can. He mimed that his boat had run out of fuel and sped off on a moped parked in the shade of a banana tree. Next thing we knew we were following him through the mud thinking ‘this wouldn’t be everybody’s cup of tea!’. Rounding a corner in the mangrove we saw out boat, very low to the water, and cast nervous glances at each other. We put our trust in the wizened old fella and arranged our bags and ourselves so as to not over-balance the boat whilst he topped up the fuel tank.

Several attempts at starting the engine later and we were off. Very very slowly. Was there dirt in the fuel line? We putth putthed away, the engine making a noise out of all proportion to the speed we were travelling. Bryn spied a monkey, Dylan was hit in the head by a decent sized fish which then flopped into the boat. We slowly got up to speed and headed out into open water, the swell choppy, the sky grey, and a wall of monsoon rain threatening to intersect our course and swamp the already overburdened boat. Then we stalled. Our driver nervously grinned and grappled with the engine before getting it going again much to our relief. This happened again and again. It was mildly stressful! But the rain never fell on us.

After an hour we landed at a floating jetty on the east side of the island at a ramshackle village of bungalows on stilts and broken bits of fishing tackle. We transferred onto a relic of a motorbike with an integral trailer, sitting on a hastily thrown together plank seat, and buzzed off across the island on a narrow sandy track amidst the swampy savannah. After around 45 mins we arrived at Rakkan Resort to be greeted by Nok (the boat ride and motorbike transfer cost 1,200b).

Quite unbelievably we discovered that the half dozen resorts on the island were shut down for the season and we were the only foreigners on the entire place! Our residence for three days and nights was to be a humble bungalow on stilts with three beds, mosquito nets and fans, with the usual semi-outdoor bathroom. Cost: 600b per night Set around 200m back from the beach amidst pines and palms Nok warned us of snakes and monkeys and suggested we come eat at the restaurant at 7pm. That gave us time to check in at the beach.

Oh the beach! A majestic crescent of white sand fringed with coconut palms and weathered driftwood logs, patterned with crazy hermit crab ‘gardens’. During the monsoon the rains wash soil and sand into the water which can make it too murky for snorkelling. This was the case on Ko Phra Thong so we spent our time surfing in 6 foot waves, beach combing, kayaking in the mangroves, coasteering and bird watching. Oh, and eating like kings whatever Nok fancied putting together three times a day. He was an excellent cook and great host, though we never did get to the bottom of why he listened to The Carpenters every evening.

The boat ride off the island proved an altogether different and less stressful affair – after Nok got wind of the cowboy who had delivered us he made alternative arrangements and we were whizzed back to the mainland in half the time and twice the comfort (for the same price!).

Lory had arranged another taxi – this time a 3 hour drive to Phuket (2,600b) from where we caught the FAST tourist boat to Ko Phi Phi (£61.41 for the three of us). Having had three days as real life Robinson Crusoes picking our own coconuts and exploring the mngroves we were ready (or at least the boys were ready) to experience the other end of the spectrum. Phi Phi delivered right off the boat. A maze of narrow streets lined on all sides and above, with shops, restaurants, bars and tattoo parlours, we followed a lad from our hotel as he wheeled our bags through the throng, ignoring offers of massages, boat tours and cocktail hours. We’d opted for Phi Phi Cozy Seafront Resort (https://maps.app.goo.gl/bYFbCXpqyGvuNXfU6), on the edge of the madness of the town centre, with the sea lapping below our balcony.

Air conditioning, a warm shower and one of the best sunset sea-views on the busy island was worth the 1,500b per night. We settled in and immediately donned masks and snorkels to check out the reef life in the bay. The water wasn’t crystal clear, but with less rain falling on the islands the run-off issue was obviously less of an impact so we could see! Sea horses, parrot fish, angel fish, a mean looking stone fish and heaps of giant waving urchins, sea cucumbers and blue lipped clams. This was what we’d come for. Oh, and another 5 foot monitor on the beach!

A snorkel tour the following day (600b each) was good fun, but visits to Bamboo Island and Maya Bay (where The Beach was filmed) were questionable. Both are national parks and required additional 200b per person fees. Stunningly beautiful, but overcrowded and highly managed they were the low lights of the tour. If we were to do it again I would contact a boat taxi driver called ‘Him’ on +610642592782 (he does WhatsApp, but can’t write in English, so best call him). We happened upon him the following day and he took us to some of his secret snorkelling spots that nobody else goes to for around the same price as the tour. We saw a braided krait (sea snake) and had an altogether much more laid back day.

Downtown Phi Phi is a riot. Busy, loud, pungent, and tightly packed together, but it is also super friendly, easily accessible, and has a lovely feel. We ate and drank out aplenty. The highlight was the Duck Noodle Soup (https://maps.app.goo.gl/ZtL6o98g1ha7Nbb77) and watching the boxing at the Reggae Bar (https://maps.app.goo.gl/FLdEXPNanLhs1pyd8) where inebriated tourists try to beat each other up in a Thai boxing ring between bouts of Muay Thai. I also enjoyed a walk up to the lookouts – a steep ascent up hundreds of steps through lush tropical gardens (50b entry). Be prepared for loud music at night as the bars and clubs come to life. It’s a vibrant place and we had a hoot. A total contrast to Ko Phra Thong.

From Phi Phi we caught another fast boat to Riley East Pier. The journey was smooth and very quick. Just 40 mins (800b each). Winding between more outlandish limestone towers and cliffs, delivering us to a climbers’ paradise. We opted to walk to our resort – Chill Out Bungalows at Tonsai (https://maps.app.goo.gl/mUcB45Jdh2UKxGsm9). It took us about 45 mins of adventurous walking along the beach, pulling up ropes through the jungle and finally wading the last section as the tide wasn’t quite out, to Tonsai beach cut off from the rest of the world. The bungalows were basic and cheap (600b for a three person room). Climbing friends had said how much the area had changed since I visited in 2003, so expectations were low. But it was still every but as amazingly beautiful and laid back as I remembered.

We rented climbing equipment for the day (900b) and got stuck into the overhanging tufa cave above the beach bar, retreating to the sand for a swim when we got too hot. We spent half a day clambering through the jungle to the lagoon (don’t attempt in the rain – seriously), explored the huge caves at the end of Phra Nang beach, and ate out in the bustle of the main street at the very good Riley Family Restaurant (https://maps.app.goo.gl/NaVJtW9X3pXNfZpW8) and outrageously cheap and tasty Mama Chicken (https://maps.app.goo.gl/eLNC9FUFvNNaHUwW9) on Tonsai where we ate chicken burgers and fresh fruit shakes for a grand total of 450b!

A boat ride back to Ao Nang on the mainland where we met an air conditioned, leather trimmed mini van booked on 12Go to take us to Surat Thani for our actual sleeper train back to the madness of Bangkok. This time we had actual bunks (cost £18 per person for the 11 hour journey). It was every bit a cosy and fun as I remembered.

Back to Bangkok and we checked in to the Tindee Trendy hotel (https://maps.app.goo.gl/SocGqhMmPLZzoCud6) for around £60 for the night, wanting a nice luxurious place for our last sleep. With its rainbow pool and spacious room it delivered. We took a taxi to Icon Siam, a futuristic mall, for some souvenir and gift shopping, before spending a riotous evening on the legendary Ko San Road soaking up the craziness, and finally squeezed the remaining juice from the trip with a chance find of an incredible Adhere The 13th Blues Bar (https://maps.app.goo.gl/E8wkgpqoG2jRPVv19) rocking to the music whilst the monsoon heavens gave us their best show yet.

24 hours later we were at the party in North Wales where a constant stream of friends and family greeted me with words along the lines of ‘Well I know how much you enjoyed your trip as I’ve seen the boys and they can’t stop chattering about it’. They both want to go back with their friends. Job Done.

Addendum: How much did the monsoon rain affect the trip? I’d say quite a lot. On the negative side we didn’t get as much gorgeous sunlight as expected, especially first and last thing each day. We did get rained on a fair few times and it did result in Bryn’s phone getting a drenching. There wasn’t as much good snorkelling as we’d hoped (but there was plenty when we were in the right place). On the plus side there were fewer people and I suspect some of the prices were lower. The monsoon rains can be amazing to be in and / or to watch.

Also what essential bits of kit would we take if we went again that we forgot this time, and what did we think would be essential. But could have done without? I’d ditch the mask, snorkel, climbing shoes and chalk bag. We rented climbing equipment for the short time we were climbing. Most of the resorts / boats have snorkels and masks (I’d take a pair of goggles just in case). I’d just take a very light pack towel – everywhere we stayed provided towels. No waterproof. We took them and didn’t use them. We carried a plastic poncho for emergency drenching, but didn’t actually use. If traveling in the monsoon I would make sure that any bags are waterproof, especially your day bag as that’s the one you are most likely to be caught out in. Zip lock bags for phones. Also a watertight bag for your phone whilst out and about. All the market stalls sell dry bags for not much money. Always take less clothes. Most places offer pretty cheap laundry and we did our own hand washing. I’d risk not taking a mosquito net and sheet sleeping bag (unless going for more budget accommodation). Basically the less stuff you carry the more space you will have to take stuff home, and the easier it is to get around.